Fetus in a Jar Pattern


Sorry I haven't posted a pattern in awhile. I've been... working. It's weird, it's almost like I'm an adult now! I originally made this about three weeks ago, and there was a positive response. I figure there's at least another sick fuck out there.

Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't flame my comments. Don't like it? Don't make it. Look how easy that was! Haters be hatin'.

So, without further ado, here is my Fetus in a Jar pattern!

Pickled fetus, anyone?

Admittedly, I have not tested this pattern yet, so if there are errors PLEASE let me know and I'll correct them! It's a bit more complicated that my normal patterns.

-F hook
-Pink Cotton Yarn
-Red Cotton Yarn
-Felt or Safety Eyes
-Tapestry Needle
-1 Mason Jar

-sc single crochet
-invdec invisible decrease
-inc increase
-trc triple (or treble) crochet
-ch chain
-sl st slip stitch
As usual ** means to crochet around

With pink,
1. ch 3, 6sc into 2nd ch from hook
2. inc around (12)
3. *1sc in next st, then inc* (18)
4. *1sc in next 2 st, then inc* (24)
5-11. sc around
12. sc 8, invdec, sc, invdec, sc, invdec, sc 8 (21)
13. sc 7, invdec x3, sc 8 (18)
14. sc 6, invdec x3, sc6 (15)
15. sc around
16. sc 7, inc, sc 7 (16)
17. sc 8, inc, sc 7 (17)
18. sc 8, inc, sc 9 (18)
19. sc 8, inc x2, sc 8 (20)
20-21. sc around
22. sc 8, invdec, sc 9 (19)
23. sc 8, invdec, sc 8 (18)
24. *sc 4, invdec* (15)
25. *sc 3, invdec* (12)
26. sl st, then switch directions and sc 6
27. *sc 1, invdec* until you come to a point (tip of the tail). Cut and FO.

Arms(x 2):
1. ch 9, in 2nd ch from hook, 3 trc
2. sl st across, FO and stitch to body

Umbilical Cord:
1. Cut three pieces of yarn the same length, two pink and one red (or vice versa)
2. Thread them into the belly button area of fetus. You should effectively have six strings.
3. Mix up the colors if you'd like for a more interesting pattern. Divide into three sections and braid the umbilical cord.
4. Cut a short piece of string and tie around the end of the braid to keep it from unraveling.

Congrats! You have a fetus!

Fetus out of a jar!

And for those of you too lazy to whip it up, here it is, conveniently for your purchase! ;)

You're welcome to sell the finished product, but do not sell the pattern (that's MEAN, OKAY?!) and if you sell it, please credit it to me. 


  1. I'm not trying to be a hater...but what inspired this?!

  2. You should check out my blog. I saw this on 'What not to crochet" and didn't know there was a pattern, so I created my own fetus. And then like ten more. You can read the whole story on the blog...

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. Made two of these today. I got lost the first time and ended up with the stomach growing on the side of my fetus O_O
    When I went back to make a second one I noticed a couple problems with the directions not corresponding to the round's stitch count ().
    Figured I'd let you know.
    The math problems in brackets are the only three that don't add up.

    18. sc 8, inc, sc 9 (18)

    [8 + 2 + 9 = 19]

    19. sc 8, inc x2, sc 8 (20)
    20-21. sc around
    22. sc 8, invdec, sc 9 (19)

    [8 + 1 + 9 = 18]

    23. sc 8, invdec, sc 8 (18)

    [8 + 1 + 8 = 17]

  4. This is awesome, blogged about this here: War On Women in Canada... (http://craftygal1965.blogspot.ca/2012/03/tory-backbencher-wins-bid-for-abortion.html)


  5. Fantastic! This took no time flat and looks awesome! I'm thinking about making one with two heads next time...

  6. this is so fricking cool. just trying to think of a recipient who wont hate me....

  7. This is bizarre and awesome. Always looking for weird things to crochet besides my zombies & Cthulhus :)

  8. I love this, love this, love this.

  9. This is so cool! Totally going to make a bunch of these for Halloween decorations. Thanks for the pattern!

  10. loving it

    why would anyone have a problem with this? is it cause its in a jar? its not like you've created a pattern for an "A word"

    Some people are just idiots